Growth arises from our challenges in life. Let’s face it, challenges come to all of us sooner of later regardless of who we are. The question is what are we going to do with the challenges we are presented with at any given moment. Continue reading Life Lesson from the “General”
Life today can be hectic and overwhelming to say the least. There is certainly a place in our day to be given to in depth study dedicated to our success in life. Sometimes, though, you just want to get right to the meat. This is the aim of this blog post. Continue reading The Wall
Everyone at one time or another asks the question, “how can I be more successful?” It is a great question to ask, and it can take volumes of books to answer. The answers can be almost endless when you factor in all the different areas one may choose to direct their quest for success. Most adults are already on that quest to some degree. I will offer up one simple thing you can do to improve your odds of achieving success that you can implement right away and realize great improvement within a mere thirty days. Change the question you ask! The question should be, “how can I correct bad habits?”
You see your habits shape your future, for better or for worse. The things we do on a daily basis determine who we become and what we will achieve or not. Your daily routine is likely the culmination of habits you formed long ago and now you probably don’t even think about them because your life is on a sort of autopilot.
It may sound like an oversimplification to be honest with you, but it really is just this simple. It goes back to the most basic computer analogy I can think of. If you want to change your output, change the input!
Here’s what I mean, and I contend that this is one of the best lines I ever learned in my life and I learned it at about age 18. I was getting ready to enter my first year of college. I was a bit delusional in that I had dreams of being a musician. I had played keyboards in one capacity or another since I was 5. Let me clarify this up front. I did not consistently study and practice from age 5 on, I simply began lessons at that age and then as you might imagine only stuck with it a short period. On and off again, I came back to music and by my teen years I had the bright idea of being a professional musician. At any rate, I learned that upon arriving at college I would be required to perform certain classical pieces on the piano before the professors of the music department and other students waiting their turn. I had never played anything like this before. I sought out a highly recommended professor of music at a local college (not the one I would attend) and took private lessons from him. Dr. Henry Santos was his name. The piece I brought to him to get help with was Bach, Inventio #1. I was more or less able to play the song one hand at a time, but it was too complex to get it altogether. He sat me down and asked me to show him what I had. Almost immediately he stopped me and had some corrections to make. The problem he picked out right off the bat was that I was nowhere near holding my hands in the proper position. My wrists were angled downward and my palms relatively flat on the keyboard. He explained proper technique was to have my wrists angled upward and my fingers somewhat curled. This was the proper technique. I thought I was a witty young man and said, “practice makes perfect!” Dr. Santos was not amused! He retorted, “No, it doesn’t! Practice does not make perfect, but rather, PERFECT practice makes perfect!” His point was that if I was practicing wrong technique all I was doing was cementing bad habits into my mind and putting myself at a tremendous disadvantage. But, if I would take the time to practice using proper techniques that this would make all the difference.
I eventually corrected the bad habits by consciously focusing on the new habit I had to learn, not in the old way. I was able to play that song for a recital my first semester and my piano tutor at the college I attended was quite proud of my progress.
So, to answer the question of how to correct bad habits I would simply say to focus on right ones! It’s not so much that you are learning to correct a bad habit or to overcome the wrong way of doing things, but simply learning the right way. In fact, it’s best to take your focus off the bad habits as completely as you possibly can. Instead, in whatever the capacity you are wanting to change simply learn the right, or more beneficial habit and simply with repetition over time you will learn the new habit and automatically the old will be a thing of the past. How long can this take? I think to some degree it depends on exactly what we are talking about, but in general terms they say it takes about 28 days to establish a new habit. Perhaps a little more or less time depending on the nature of the habit and how long it has been engrained in your mind. But the bottom line is that it generally is not a terribly long process. Additionally, it is typically not too difficult if you are determined, focused and truly wanting to improve the area in which you are making the change.
My final word of advice on the matter is be careful not to replace one bad habit with another! Be certain that the thing you are trying to replace is truly the best possible technique! Remember Dr. Santos! Perfect practice makes perfect!
Know Your Enemy
The key foundational truth, which will be the cornerstone of the rest of this book, is to know your enemy. I mean it only makes perfect sense, right? After all, how can you fight an enemy which you have not first clearly defined?
I will use myself as the example. Unfortunately for me, there are many enemies from which I can choose. The mother of all enemies for me also happens to be the one I have had to deal with the longest– blindness. I was diagnosed with retinitis pigmentosa (RP) when I was only five years old. There was a family history of this disease and I had been showing signs of diﬃculty early on in my childhood by my clumsiness I exhibited. Even though I still clearly recall many of the visits to eye doctors that were associated with the diagnosis, I cannot say for certain when it was that I was oﬃcially told of my situation and the serious impact it would have on my future. I do know that I have always had challenges with my sight. Diﬃculty seeing the chalkboard and reading in school were a constant thorn in my side. I did my best to hide my struggle with humor and was probably known more for being the class clown than being the guy who couldn’t see well. Ah, if I only had it to do all over again! I would have gladly exchanged the laughter for some understanding and real assistance. I often wonder how my life would have unfolded diﬀerently had I been brave enough to take on the enemy of blindness, or back then just the diﬃculty associated with poor sight.
The best that I can recall, I was a senior in high school probably about 17 or 18 years old at the time when my parents had a discussion with me. It was this time that my parents had a serious heart to heart with me about making better choices and finding my way in a world knowing the loss of sight would continue and put me at a serious disadvantage.
I could have done much better, to say the least, to prepare myself for what was in front of me. But sadly, I did not. Denial was a huge part of my existence for much of my life. In fact, I dedicated an entire chapter to it in my first book, “Power In Perseverance.” This again, was rooted in the fact that I failed to reach out and make real connections with anyone who had already faced and overcame similar challenges. Oh, how helpful that could have been to me!
If you are enjoying this portion from chapter 1, I encourage you to grab your copy today! Kindle readers can get it for FREE through the lending library. You may also visit my product page here at www.jeffgrillo.com and order a paperback or download and read now! Thank you!