Tag Archives: self help

Mentoring with Jeff Grillo, “The Excuse Assassin”

Many choices exist today from which you can invite a professional to come encourage, motivate and inspire your staff and students.  Events which include a dynamic speaker can help all who listen to become more and do more than they may have previously thought they could.

The trouble is when the speaker leaves, so does the feelings of excitement and hope.  An extremely good speaker will touch people deeply and may have a lingering effect days later.  This positive effect drops off rapidly as typically with the end of the event comes the end of the commitment on the part of the speaker.  So what exactly did you get for your investment?

This is where you will find a tremendous difference when investing in an event with Jeff Grillo, “The Excuse Assassin.”  Not only is Jeff a dynamic and powerful speaker with an extraordinary story of how he has faced and overcome many life challenges including blindness, two forms of malignant cancer, heart problems, financial collapse, chronic pain and more, but he also offers a year long commitment to measure and track your progress and the progress of your students, faculty or staff in twenty areas of attitude and performance.  The data gleaned using iGoals9 helps Jeff to tailor his mentoring to address the specific challenges that will lay out a clear set of goals and a plan to achieve them.  Ongoing mentoring happens on a closed Facebook group platform where each individual not only receives group mentoring but also has the opportunity to share and learn from their peers.  Additional one on one mentorship is given as needed and determined by the Jeff Grillo Mentoring Team in order to ensure the progress of each mentee.

What are you waiting for?  Contact the Jeff Grillo Mentoring Team now and learn more!

How to Take Control of Your Life

I have not conducted a formal study on the biggest challenges that our society faces today, but I think even a moderately observant person would agree that among the top issues is that of responsibility.  I believe that the blame game has become an epidemic in our nation.  One needs only to turn on the news on any given day and listen, I mean truly listen to what is being said.  It seems everyone is blaming everyone else and everything else for the ills facing us today.  Mothers of criminals blaming  the police for their adult children being killed in a police chase.  You have anti-gun people blaming gun manufacturers for violence.  Republicans blame democrats and democrats blaming republicans for everything that is wrong in our nation.  And the list goes on almost without end!

How often do you see this mindset creeping into your own neighborhood or circle of acquaintances?  It is awful!  Do you know why it is so awful?  The answer may surprise you.  It comes down to a matter of control.  You see, if we as individuals engage in attitudes of personal responsibility then the control for change of the things we do not like or approve of lie with us.  The keys of change are in our own hands and we can determine proper adjustments in our course that will lead to different outcomes, more positive outcomes.  Conversely, if we do not walk in personal responsibility then we hand over control to someone else or some other power, authority or ruling body.  When we give up the keys to change, we are stuck in a perpetual rut, a rut of our own making.

This is what happens when we want to lay claim to the responsibility when things go right only.  It is easy to pat ourselves on the back when we succeed.  It feels good to cue people in to the one responsible for all the obvious good in our life.  Oh how we love to feed the monster of pride!  When the outcomes of our own decisions are not the desired or intended outcomes we tend to run and hide and point our fingers as a societal norm.  As long as we do this, we are essentially saying the control is over there; I’m helpless and a victim, there is nothing I can do.  How does that feel?  No wonder there is so much angst and tension in our nation today, we have collectively raised a generation of helpless, powerless victims who are angry and tired of being victims.  The trouble is that everything they read, hear and listen to through the media pats them on the back and reinforces them in their unenviable position.  Only when the message gets out that the fix is to stop blaming others, take responsibility and therefore take control over their lives and future and begin to make choices and decisions that will lead to better outcomes.

The power of choice and the power of a decision in the end is the most powerful tool we as individuals have in forging the life we say we desire.  Who are you going to give the power to in your life?  Great leaders are not great blame givers, they are great responsibility takers.  Take the responsibility for your own life, make the best choices you can, follow through on those choices with appropriate action and reap the future you desire!

What do you Expect?

The question of how to change your future is firmly rooted in the garden of our mind.  Specifically, it is a massive and ever-present plant called “expectation.”

The idea of expectation conjures up the age old question of which came first, the chicken or the egg?  In other words, do our circumstances and present reality determine what our expectations are, or do our long held expectations determine our present reality?

I suppose an argument could be made for either position.  As you might imagine, my purpose is not to engage in argument or contention, so let’s objectively agree that regardless of which came first, the reality is that if we want to change the reality in which we live we can make monumental strides towards the desired end by adjusting our expectations!

Let’s just for the sake of example say that “Bob” finds himself with poor self-esteem and low expectations or success in his life.  Bob has come to the place in his life where he has such expectations because his history shows a long established pattern of failure, bad choices and loss.  How would you encourage your friend Bob to change his fortunes going forward?  Hopefully, you could persuade Bob to get excited about the possibility of success.  Perhaps you could speak to him about the strengths he does possess and inspire him to dig deep into his soul and try again.  I believe you could excite him and help take his eyes out of the rear view mirror and focus on his future enough to help cultivate different expectations.  Reinforcing his newly adopted expectations, you cheer him on to a short term goal and bolster his confidence and reinforce positive expectation.

I could go on, playing this scenario out but I am sure you get the point.  When we make the conscious choice to change our focus and, therefore, change our expectations from failure to success our lives will bear out the better reality.  When we expect to succeed in an area or specific endeavor, our actions will fall in line with what it takes to be a success.  If I want to start a landscaping business, but I don’t really expect to be successful for whatever reason then my actions will be in line with failure.  I will likely not invest in the best equipment or in the best employees.  I will likely not bother to spend the money or time to advertise and market my business because, well, what’s the point?  I’ll just go through the motions and wait for reality to catch up to my expectations.  Conversely, if I fully expect to be successful, my energy level will be high and I will hustle and work my back side off in order to gain customers and earn their satisfied referrals.  I will invest in whatever it takes to get the job done and grow my new company and the end result will be that the new guy on the block is really making a splash in the market!

So, what do you expect?  If your answer is not exciting to you, adjust your expectations!

How to Change Bad Habits

Everyone at one time or another asks the question, “how can I be more successful?”  It is a great question to ask, and it can take volumes of books to answer.  The answers can be almost endless when you factor in all the different areas one may choose to direct their quest for success.  Most adults are already on that quest to some degree.  I will offer up one simple thing you can do to improve your odds of achieving success that you can implement right away and realize great improvement within a mere thirty days.  Change the question you ask!  The question should be, “how can I correct bad habits?”

You see your habits shape your future, for better or for worse.  The things we do on a daily basis determine who we become and what we will achieve or not.  Your daily routine is likely the culmination of habits you formed long ago and now you probably don’t even think about them because your life is on a sort of autopilot.

It may sound like an oversimplification to be honest with you, but it really is just this simple.  It goes back to the most basic computer analogy I can think of.  If you want to change your output, change the input!

Here’s what I mean, and I contend that this is one of the best lines I ever learned in my life and I learned it at about age 18.  I was getting ready to enter my first year of college.  I was a bit delusional in that I had dreams of being a musician.  I had played keyboards in one capacity or another since I was 5.  Let me clarify this up front.  I did not consistently study and practice from age 5 on, I simply began lessons at that age and then as you might imagine only stuck with it a short period.  On and off again, I came back to music and by my teen years I had the bright idea of being a professional musician.  At any rate, I learned that upon arriving at college I would be required to perform certain classical pieces on the piano before the professors of the music department and other students waiting their turn.  I had never played anything like this before.  I sought out a highly recommended professor of music at a local college (not the one I would attend) and took private lessons from him.  Dr. Henry Santos was his name.  The piece I brought to him to get help with was Bach, Inventio #1.  I was more or less able to play the song one hand at a time, but it was too complex to get it altogether.  He sat me down and asked me to show him what I had.  Almost immediately he stopped me and had some corrections to make.  The problem he picked out right off the bat was that I  was nowhere near holding my hands in the proper position.  My wrists were angled downward and my palms relatively flat on the keyboard.  He explained proper technique was to have my wrists angled upward and my fingers somewhat curled.  This was the proper technique.  I thought I was a witty young man and said, “practice makes perfect!”  Dr. Santos was not amused!  He retorted, “No, it doesn’t!  Practice does not make perfect, but rather, PERFECT practice makes perfect!”  His point was that if I was practicing wrong technique all I was doing was cementing bad habits into my mind and putting myself at a tremendous disadvantage.  But, if I would take the time to practice using proper techniques that this would make all the difference.

I eventually corrected the bad habits by consciously focusing on the new habit I had to learn, not in the old way.  I was able to play that song for a recital my first semester and my piano tutor at the college I attended was quite proud of my progress.

So, to answer the question of how to correct bad habits I would simply say to focus on right ones!  It’s not so much that you are learning to correct a bad habit or to overcome the wrong way of doing things, but simply learning the right way.  In fact, it’s best to take your focus off the bad habits as completely as you possibly can.  Instead, in whatever the capacity you are wanting to change simply learn the right, or more beneficial habit and simply with repetition over time you will learn the new habit and automatically the old will be a thing of the past.  How long can this take?  I think to some degree it depends on exactly what we are talking about, but in general terms they say it takes about 28 days to establish a new habit.  Perhaps a little more or less time depending on the nature of the habit and how long it has been engrained in your mind.  But the bottom line is that it generally is not a terribly long process.  Additionally, it is typically not too difficult if you are determined, focused and truly wanting to improve the area in which you are making the change.

My final word of advice on the matter is be careful not to replace one bad habit with another!  Be certain that the thing you are trying to replace is truly the best possible technique!  Remember Dr. Santos!  Perfect practice makes perfect!

Get a FREE copy of my book, “Power in Perseverance”

I am excited to announce an amazing offer!  I almost feel like one of those crazy store owners doing those local commercials that only seemed to air at off hours.  You know the ones promoting the giant blowout sale and my prices are so low they’re crazy!  That’s the guy!

Now, I sincerely hope that this is not the impression you get from this offer!  I am excited most of all to be able to put two powerful tools in your hand.  Plus, it is just in me to enjoy to give things away to people, especially when they’re gifts that will bring blessing and improvement to quality of life for the recipient.  I already offer an absolutely free initial life coach session so you can kick the wheels a little and see what great value my sessions offer.  Now, I want to put a signed copy of one of my books in your hands absolutely free, too!

This is a very limited time offer.  In fact the offer ends this Wednesday March 9, 2016 at midnight eastern time (US).  That is just over three full days from now!

All you have to do to claim your FREE copy of “Power in Perseverance” is to go to my website www.jeffgrillo.com and visit my product page.  Once there simply order your copy (ebook or paperback) copy of my latest book, “The Excuse Assassin.”  You pick the format you prefer!  Then, once you make a verified purchase from the Amazon website which my product page links to, give the book a positive rating and leave a positive comment.  Send me a screenshot of your comments or simply email me what you wrote and I’ll verify for you.  It’s simple as that.  Oh wait, you’ll also need to email me the address you want the book mailed to and any personalization you wish me to include.

My email is jeff@jeffgrillo.com.    Again, “Power in Perseverance” will be mailed to you a absolutely FREE with your purchase and positive feedback on Amazon’s website.  I am even going to pay the shipping and handling myself!

Between the two books you will be encouraged, motivated and inspired beyond your expectations.  You will be filled with the strength and determination you need to persevere through the toughest of trials.  You will learn how to identify and destroy the fear, excuses, and obstacles that stand between you and your goals.  These are books you will want your whole family to read and grow along with you.

Hurry now, don’t delay this offer will expire at midnight March 9, 2016 (eastern US time.)

Be sure to subscribe to this blog, as you won’t want to miss out on a single post.  I do not often post about offers.  What you will find is a variety of life lessons that have brought me past my obstacles and over the toughest hurdles life has thrown at me.  Join me, and subscribe today!

Also, I invite you to join me on my YouTube channel.  I call it throttleupradio.  Please come by and see what you can learn there as well.  Again, its free!  Subscribe today.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jHLygph0OEw

How to Deal with Crisis

One way I like to measure personal growth is to to consider how one handles a crisis.

Crisis is one of those dirty little words in life we simply cannot escape.  It is a constant companion that may take a brief vacation from time to time, but it always knows its way home to you!  When speaking about crisis, I always love to point out an amazing lesson on crisis from the Chinese perspective.  The word for crisis in Chinese is made up of two characters.  Individually, they are danger and opportunity.  I could almost end this blogpost right here!  The self-evident lesson in the idea that crisis is made up of danger, as well as, opportunity is pretty immense and has great application in our everyday life.

First, I want to just make solid the point that when crisis enters our life, whatever form it takes, we tend to only see the danger aspect of it.  If we take a moment to take a breath and understand that hidden within the danger of the moment there is a hidden gem of opportunity of one type or another it should guide our every decision during the course of the current calamity.

The evaluation of personal growth in the midst of crisis is, or at least can be, summed up in the statement that mature people will respond to the crisis while immature people simply react.  Reactions tend to almost always lead to bad or unintended consequences while deliberate, thoughtful decisions made in response to the calamity will tend towards the betterment of the mature individual.

Using the crises in my life that have guided me for quite some time may help you to understand somewhat of what I am trying to convey.  The loss of my eyesight is something I have had to deal with for practically all of my life.  It has been a long, gradual decline, but hit a crescendo on November 14,1999 when I finally lost my driver’s license.  We can also look at the crisis of cancer some seven years earlier.  First, with respect to the crisis of lost freedoms with the loss of my license; the danger there was obvious.  I was faced with potentially falling into the trap of forever being completely dependent upon others for pretty much everything in life.  Couple that with the crisis of facing my own mortality during the cancer crisis which taught me to live life with a sense of urgency and you can see how my path ultimately was directed by seemingly terrible events.  I say seemingly because in the end they did not destroy me, but have taught me valuable lessons over the years.  I cannot write this and say with any honesty that I have always responded to these challenges!  There were plenty of reactions —reactions that cost me dearly in terms of lost time, various kinds of setbacks and emotional pain.  Will you make mistakes along the road?  Of course! If you are an adult reading this, you can likely point to a long list of reactions that have cost you dearly.  That is ok as long as you learn from them and grow to the point where you learn and recognize as each new crisis comes along that you need to slow down and respond rather than react.  Recognizing the need to do this  in and of itself is a sign of maturity.  Have you ever reacted to a situation off the cuff, perhaps even in anger and later looked back at it saying, “boy that was a great decision I made in danger.”  I think not!  But when we feel the urge to react, we should allow this to be our flashing sign to pull back, slow down and think things through and look for the hidden opportunity within the immediate crisis.  It may come to the forefront quickly, or it may take a little time.  It is ok to wait and act from a place of patience and wisdom.

The opportunities are there.  Commit to yourself now to seek them out in every crisis!

Excerpt from “The Excuse Assassin” (chapter 1)

Know Your Enemy

The key foundational truth, which will be the cornerstone of the rest of this book, is to know your enemy. I mean it only makes perfect sense, right? After all, how can you fight an enemy which you have not first clearly defined?

I will use myself as the example. Unfortunately for me, there are many enemies from which I can choose. The mother of all enemies for me also happens to be the one I have had to deal with the longest– blindness. I was diagnosed with retinitis pigmentosa (RP) when I was only five years old. There was a family history of this disease and I had been showing signs of difficulty early on in my childhood by my clumsiness I exhibited. Even though I still clearly recall many of the visits to eye doctors that were associated with the diagnosis, I cannot say for certain when it was that I was officially told of my situation and the serious impact it would have on my future. I do know that I have always had challenges with my sight. Difficulty seeing the chalkboard and reading in school were a constant thorn in my side. I did my best to hide my struggle with humor and was probably known more for being the class clown than being the guy who couldn’t see well. Ah, if I only had it to do all over again! I would have gladly exchanged the laughter for some understanding and real assistance. I often wonder how my life would have unfolded differently had I been brave enough to take on the enemy of blindness, or back then just the difficulty associated with poor sight.

The best that I can recall, I was a senior in high school probably about 17 or 18 years old at the time when my parents had a discussion with me. It was this time that my parents had a serious heart to heart with me about making better choices and finding my way in a world knowing the loss of sight would continue and put me at a serious disadvantage.

I could have done much better, to say the least, to prepare myself for what was in front of me. But sadly, I did not. Denial was a huge part of my existence for much of my life.  In fact, I dedicated an entire chapter to it in my first book, “Power In Perseverance.” This again, was rooted in the fact that I failed to reach out and make real connections with anyone who had already faced and overcame similar challenges. Oh, how helpful that could have been to me!


If you are enjoying this portion from chapter 1, I encourage you to grab your copy today!  Kindle readers can get it for FREE through the lending library.  You may also visit my product page here at www.jeffgrillo.com and order a paperback or download and read now!  Thank you!

Rearview Mirror

Much has been written and taught on the subject of success.  Success means something different to each individual.  The means by which success is measured also is subjective and can have many different ways of identifying it.

This brief blog post will simply serve as my own personal and humble thoughts on what I believe is one of the key measures of success.

Even within my own mind, I can look at various aspects of success.  In other words, I can decide in financial terms what success looks like.  I can speak of the social aspects of success.  I can share my thoughts on what success in the family looks like and so on.  But, the aspect I will choose to talk about this time is more in terms of conquest.

Conquest?  As a person who has been forced to face and subsequently wrestle with physical challenges such as blindness, cancer, heart problems and so on, I like to look at success in terms of the giant I conquer along the path of life!  Recently, I posted a thought I had on Twitter which simply read, “Success can be measured by the obstacles you see in your rear view mirror.”  In fact, it was this thought, and this tweet that inspired this post!

It really is true.  We are traveling down the road of life.  At times we are cruising at break-neck speeds, other times we are at a stand still in traffic, and yes, there are times where we unfortunately take the wrong exit.  Life unfolds before our eyes in the windshield that is in front of us.  Most people get caught up in the obstacles that lie ahead and then find themselves paralyzed with fear or indecision.  Others find themselves swerving all over the place because their gaze is trapped in the rear view mirror lost in endless thoughts of what might have been, or trying to unravel the mess of bad decisions and trying to rewrite their history.

As for myself, I am keenly aware of the road ahead of me.  Not only am I focused on the immediate path, but I also, like any wise individual, try to look far ahead and plan for future possibilities.  All the while that I am dealing with the present and planning for my future I find it valuable to glance in the rear view mirror.  This type of reflection in my case is done so I can remind myself of the obstacles, or giants, I have already faced and conquered.  It gives me great strength and encouragement knowing what I have already come through.  It is this knowledge that boosts my confidence and steels my resolve to refuse to shrink back from present or future troubles.

I encourage you today to take a quick look back, specifically at the giants you have slain in your past.  I am certain there are at least a few!  Don’t stay there too long though!  Just long enough to remind yourself that even though the giant at the time seemed insurmountable, they clearly lie on the road behind you no longer a concern.  If that giant can fall, then so will the next one!

I invite you to follow me on Twitter.  Follow @JeffGrilloMedia


D.E.A.D. Principle (part 4)

So here we are at the fourth and final part on the D.E.A.D. principle.  I think you will find that this is a pretty exciting piece of the puzzle, and personally I love the illustration that will be used to bring it to life.

The final piece of this puzzle is “Determination.”  In my personal opinion, this is the one of the four that must, above all, be the characteristic that we must keep constant in our quest for success.  It is part of the human condition to be in a state of fluctuation.  Our desire will ebb and flow to one degree or another as will our enthusiasm and attitude.  In our professional lives, if we are mindful of these characteristics we can, for the most part, keep them in line most of the time fairly easily.  When it comes to determination, there is much less wiggle room!

When the other three facets of the D.E.A.D. principle waiver, it is determination that will pull each of the others in line.

In the simplest of terms, determination is that spark inside of us that refuses to quit or give in when logic or any other measure says quit!

Consider the bulldog.  They are kind of a funny-looking dog.  It is my understanding that bulldogs because of their breeding cannot be born naturally and must be born via c-section.  Their heads are so large and their jaws so massive and powerful by design.  The purpose was to raise or breed a dog to fight bulls, hence the name bulldog!  A bulldog has an unbelievable amount of determination and tenacity.  When placed in the ring together, the chase is on!  Naturally, size and strength advantage by far belongs to the bull.  However, the bull will chase the dog and then the dog will turn things around and chase the bull.  This goes back and forth for some time until the dog literally wears out the bull.  The bull will be standing alone with his head low breathing heavily.  It is this moment that the dog seizes upon and latches those massive relentless jaws on the snout of the bull.  The bull will shake and shake to no avail.  He will toss the dog around and hit him up against the wall of the ring until finally the bull lays down and gives up.  The little sixty pound dog wins because of the amazing determination!

It is this determination we must learn and cultivate if it does not come naturally to us.  If it already does, consider yourself blessed!  If it is not one of your strong points, it might be time to work on stirring it up within yourself.  Many times we can win if we simply refuse to give up.  Outlasting our competition can place us in a position to bring about great success in our lives and businesses.  Being able to hang in the fight long enough gets us to a place where we grow  enough that we achieve greater things than we could have otherwise attained.  The lessons learned from our refusing to give in or quit teaches us so many unforeseen and valuable lessons that the value of determination cannot be overstated.  All four of the characteristics of the D.E.A.D. principle are vitally important.  But it is the element of determination that can carry us when all else fails.

Whatever your field of interest, I encourage you to go out and begin to apply this principle.  Whether in sales, politics, education, sports, ministry or whatever it is you do, get out and apply the D.E.A.D. principle and see how it breathes new life into all you do!

D.E.A.D. Principle (part 3)

In parts 1 & 2, you learned how desire and enthusiasm fit into the D.E.A.D. principle.  Here in part 3, we will focus on attitude.

There have been volumes written on the topic of attitude and how it can make or break you.  In fact, I personally have written two books that address our attitudes and their role in shaping our current environment in which we live as well as our future which we will soon enough inhabit.  As a brief matter of shameless self-promotion, you can find those two books on my product page!  Enough said.

In addition to my books, I will point you to a free teaching I did on the matter which resides on YouTube.  To view this short video on “Attitude Lessons from Flight School” simply click this link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZsOJphP3fE  I will point out and warn you in advance that this was the first video I made on what was then my new iPad in an outdoor setting.  Everything worked out just fine, except the audio quality could have been much better.  Nonetheless, it is worth a few minutes of your time to learn a valuable lesson that I will teach here.  Feel free to give it a “like” and leave a comment.  By all means, help others and me by reposting at will!

Now that I have given you a full three sources of inspiration on the topic of attitude, I will give you a little something new for this post.  Our attitudes can serve us well, or entrap us in an unwanted prison of sorts.  For example, I grew up in New England and was surrounded by friends and family which shaped me into a bit of a sarcastic individual.  That northern sarcasm is great if you are trying to get a laugh, but not so good if it sneaks into your professional life.  We need to watch every word that proceeds from our mouth.  Not only do we want to choose language which properly communicates our message, but also, we ought to watch our delivery.

If we allow challenges we face in life to get us down, or don’t cope well when the unexpected happens we can send an unintended message.  That message can be that we are not serious professionals or that our concern is not in meeting the needs of our customers, but rather to meet our own needs.

Maintaining a positive attitude is paramount to success in any arena.  Can you imagine having a surgeon about to perform surgery on you who had a negative attitude?  Heaven no!  As a consumer, I want everyone I deal with on a regular basis to be a positive individual.  I’m talking about the person who takes my order at the drive through window, I’m talking about the clerk at the post office, I’m talking about the person who services our car.  Positive attitude in business is equal to professional and satisfying rapport that makes me want to continue to do business with that person or company.  I might overlook or excuse a poor attitude once because I understand everyone has an occasional bad day, but beyond that I am looking for a new place to do business.

Whether you are behind a desk, behind a counter, working the phones or speaking on stage before a room full of eager students, you must cultivate a winning, positive attitude.  If you expect to go to the next level and improve your position in life, this is a key area to give serious attention.  Don’t take your own word for it either!  Ask those closest to you who would know you best.  Find out what others really think of your presentation to others. l Encourage them to be completely honest.  Prepare yourself!  Hopefully you will be pleased or pleasantly surprised.  But, be open to the very real possibility that you have room for improvement.  If you have zero room for improvement you may need to give someone a call and sign up for a study of some sort as you would be quite the anomaly!

Desire leads to giving birth to our enthusiasm.  Our attitude is cultivated from these two principles and will take us a long way.  See you soon for the final look into the D.E.A.D. principle!