Excerpt from Chapter 2 “The Excuse Assassin”

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The following is a small portion of chapter 2, “What’s the Objective?” from my latest book, “The Excuse Assassin.”  This part of my book is largely about dreams and goals, and I thought that this little glimpse was something that you could find not only entertaining, but hopefully also glean a little insight into dreams and goals

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When I was a kid, I used to think the Grillo family was pretty well off. Somewhere in my high school years, my dad bought a 32-foot Pierson sailboat.  Especially with the sails up, this thing was enormous to   me.

There was enough room to sleep a family of four comfortably. There was a kitchen and a little bathroom complete with a stand up shower. In fact, I thought we were downright rich until we planned a family getaway on the boat.  The destination was Newport, Rhode Island.  You probably can easily jump ahead and see where I am going with this! After sailing a good part of the day, best I can recall, we arrived. I took the dingy, which sat maybe 3 of us and I puttered along on the way to shore.  We floated gently past all kinds of ocean-going vessels. All along, my jaw hanging open in absolute amazement!  The one private yacht that still to this day stands out in my mind was ridiculously out of this world. In addition to simply being massive, it had two twin engine Scaraab boats hanging from cranes at the stern of the ship. People like us had a rubber dingy that held 2 or 3 people and barely moved with its tiny whirring outboard motor that probably knocked out a massive 20 horsepower! Remember the opening to the old TV show Miami Vice? That cigarette boat, they call them, that was a Scaraab! These things were at least 32 foot long each and had two massive outboards each and could probably do serious speed! Additionally, this yacht was at least three levels that I could discern. Our house didn’t even have three levels!  Then, as if it were the crown jewel itself, sitting high atop this magnificent ship was a helicopter!  Come on now!  Needless to say, this was a shocking dose of reality.  It was an awe-inspiring experience and humbling at the same time.

So, here’s the problem in my estimation when we dream to this extent. When the dream or the goal is so far out there and so massive and I’ll say it, unrealistic, it puts us in a place where we are set up for frustration and eventually failure.  And not to burst your bubble or anything, but maybe you or even I   could get there someday. I contend that if we do, it is because we set a whole lot of smaller, more attainable and gradually increasing goals along the way.

I actually had a guy probably twenty years ago try to guilt me into getting involved in his scheme.  He played upon my losing my sight.  His pitch was “when they get to a place where they can fix your eyes, don’t you want the money to be able to go and get it done without having to wait longer for insurance to cover it?”  Good grief!  I am as optimistic as anyone I have ever known.  In fact, I’ll say it right here right now for all the world to read, I sincerely believe I will see 20/20 one day!  Whether through direct miraculous, divine intervention or through the miracle of scientific breakthrough, I believe it will happen in my lifetime. No doubt. Period. End of story. My belief in this fact is unshakeable. There is also a little thing we should temper our dreams with and it is called reality.  What if I had listened to that guy?  Twenty years in how satisfying would it be, even if I had realized decent success in what he was peddling, there is still no cure and my miracle is still out there on the road ahead somewhere.  Not to say that being prepared for such an eventuality is not a worthy goal, I mean, sure it is. But if the goal is not realistic then of what worth or what satisfaction would there be? Maybe I am wrong, but I don’t think so. I just feel as though any gain that I had accrued pursuing the specific goal aforementioned would be filled with frustration and perhaps a touch of anger or resentment. At the very least, at some point during the past twenty years it would have required serious re-evaluation of goals on my part, I promise you. Without actual, tangible attainable goals, how can you keep on?

You know the obstacles that lay in front of you. Decide what is your ultimate, reasonable, attainable goal. Once you get the ultimate goal, you can break it down into smaller bite-sized attainable goals that serve as landmarks on the road to your goal.

 

I sincerely hope that you enjoyed this peek inside “The Excuse Assassin.”  Please see my product page for links to the ebook as well as the paperback edition.  You may also catch some of the reviews and testimonials as well.

 

Thanks!

Stoke the Hope!

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According to dictionary.com, the word hope means, “the feeling that what is wanted can be had, or events will turn out for the best.”

At the root of every journey is hope.  We all have a starting point in our pursuit of success.  This is naturally different for every person.  For some, success is defined by position or power, for others it is a certain income or standard of living, and still for others it is simply having enough to not have to worry about the basics.  Nonetheless, there is an idea or vision ascribed to that is based upon hope, or the belief that what is wanted can be had.

It is this belief that shapes our attitudes, determines our focus and as we progress towards the mark, fans the flames of enthusiasm as we get closer and closer.

It is critical as many famous leadership gurus have pointed out to dream and set goals.  I’m certain you have even been taught or read somewhere that it is important to dream big!  There is certainly an element of truth to this, but I will offer up a word of caution.  I have found that if one dreams too big, too soon it can squash hope!  Our march towards success should be incremental and as we enjoy success, we then can build upon previous milestones and reach even higher.

Here’s what I mean by dreaming too big too fast.  I remember being a young man with very little in terms of material possession or accomplishment.  I was fairly brand new to the quest for success.  I was drawn to a certain marketing enterprise where the people who mentored me were much older and already pretty successful people.  They had me hook, line and sinker on the idea of dreaming big.  No dream was too big or off limits.  So here I was a relative kid with nothing, dreaming of 6,000 square foot mansions, Ferraris and half-million dollar luxury yachts.  Not bad I thought.  After all, I do have good taste!

I’ll fast forward to the end of that particular story and tell you that I was a categorical failure in every sense of the word, at least as far as it was related to this particular business.  Why?  Was I not cut out for success?  Was I genetically inferior and relegated to the lower rungs of society?  No!  I simply dreamed too big too fast and was blinded by it.  I could clearly see the end goals, but couldn’t get past the present situation and make it happen.

Again, I’m not saying not to dream.  We must, in fact dream and dream big, but be careful to do so progressively on the road toward success.

Once we have ourselves a big dream session and envision our ultimate end game, we then must work backwards to the point from which we start.  Then, we need to forge a path with progressive attainable goals which, as we accomplish each one, we are propelled on to the next one.

We must always maintain a high level of hope, or belief that what we want that is just ahead of us can and will be had!  Stoke the hope!  We need to get so excited and full of enthusiasm over the goal around the next corner that our hope rises to the point that we are nearly exploding!  In the back of our minds we understand that the achieving of this next goal is one more step on the path to the ultimate goals.  It is this that I find keeps the flame of enthusiasm burning long term.  You definitely don’t want to be a quick burn when it comes to chasing your dreams.

Now, go stoke the hope!

Excerpt from “The Excuse Assassin” (chapter 1)

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Know Your Enemy

The key foundational truth, which will be the cornerstone of the rest of this book, is to know your enemy. I mean it only makes perfect sense, right? After all, how can you fight an enemy which you have not first clearly defined?

I will use myself as the example. Unfortunately for me, there are many enemies from which I can choose. The mother of all enemies for me also happens to be the one I have had to deal with the longest– blindness. I was diagnosed with retinitis pigmentosa (RP) when I was only five years old. There was a family history of this disease and I had been showing signs of difficulty early on in my childhood by my clumsiness I exhibited. Even though I still clearly recall many of the visits to eye doctors that were associated with the diagnosis, I cannot say for certain when it was that I was officially told of my situation and the serious impact it would have on my future. I do know that I have always had challenges with my sight. Difficulty seeing the chalkboard and reading in school were a constant thorn in my side. I did my best to hide my struggle with humor and was probably known more for being the class clown than being the guy who couldn’t see well. Ah, if I only had it to do all over again! I would have gladly exchanged the laughter for some understanding and real assistance. I often wonder how my life would have unfolded differently had I been brave enough to take on the enemy of blindness, or back then just the difficulty associated with poor sight.

The best that I can recall, I was a senior in high school probably about 17 or 18 years old at the time when my parents had a discussion with me. It was this time that my parents had a serious heart to heart with me about making better choices and finding my way in a world knowing the loss of sight would continue and put me at a serious disadvantage.

I could have done much better, to say the least, to prepare myself for what was in front of me. But sadly, I did not. Denial was a huge part of my existence for much of my life.  In fact, I dedicated an entire chapter to it in my first book, “Power In Perseverance.” This again, was rooted in the fact that I failed to reach out and make real connections with anyone who had already faced and overcame similar challenges. Oh, how helpful that could have been to me!

 

If you are enjoying this portion from chapter 1, I encourage you to grab your copy today!  Kindle readers can get it for FREE through the lending library.  You may also visit my product page here at www.jeffgrillo.com and order a paperback or download and read now!  Thank you!

Rearview Mirror

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Much has been written and taught on the subject of success.  Success means something different to each individual.  The means by which success is measured also is subjective and can have many different ways of identifying it.

This brief blog post will simply serve as my own personal and humble thoughts on what I believe is one of the key measures of success.

Even within my own mind, I can look at various aspects of success.  In other words, I can decide in financial terms what success looks like.  I can speak of the social aspects of success.  I can share my thoughts on what success in the family looks like and so on.  But, the aspect I will choose to talk about this time is more in terms of conquest.

Conquest?  As a person who has been forced to face and subsequently wrestle with physical challenges such as blindness, cancer, heart problems and so on, I like to look at success in terms of the giant I conquer along the path of life!  Recently, I posted a thought I had on Twitter which simply read, “Success can be measured by the obstacles you see in your rear view mirror.”  In fact, it was this thought, and this tweet that inspired this post!

It really is true.  We are traveling down the road of life.  At times we are cruising at break-neck speeds, other times we are at a stand still in traffic, and yes, there are times where we unfortunately take the wrong exit.  Life unfolds before our eyes in the windshield that is in front of us.  Most people get caught up in the obstacles that lie ahead and then find themselves paralyzed with fear or indecision.  Others find themselves swerving all over the place because their gaze is trapped in the rear view mirror lost in endless thoughts of what might have been, or trying to unravel the mess of bad decisions and trying to rewrite their history.

As for myself, I am keenly aware of the road ahead of me.  Not only am I focused on the immediate path, but I also, like any wise individual, try to look far ahead and plan for future possibilities.  All the while that I am dealing with the present and planning for my future I find it valuable to glance in the rear view mirror.  This type of reflection in my case is done so I can remind myself of the obstacles, or giants, I have already faced and conquered.  It gives me great strength and encouragement knowing what I have already come through.  It is this knowledge that boosts my confidence and steels my resolve to refuse to shrink back from present or future troubles.

I encourage you today to take a quick look back, specifically at the giants you have slain in your past.  I am certain there are at least a few!  Don’t stay there too long though!  Just long enough to remind yourself that even though the giant at the time seemed insurmountable, they clearly lie on the road behind you no longer a concern.  If that giant can fall, then so will the next one!

I invite you to follow me on Twitter.  Follow @JeffGrilloMedia

 

D.E.A.D. Principle (part 4)

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So here we are at the fourth and final part on the D.E.A.D. principle.  I think you will find that this is a pretty exciting piece of the puzzle, and personally I love the illustration that will be used to bring it to life.

The final piece of this puzzle is “Determination.”  In my personal opinion, this is the one of the four that must, above all, be the characteristic that we must keep constant in our quest for success.  It is part of the human condition to be in a state of fluctuation.  Our desire will ebb and flow to one degree or another as will our enthusiasm and attitude.  In our professional lives, if we are mindful of these characteristics we can, for the most part, keep them in line most of the time fairly easily.  When it comes to determination, there is much less wiggle room!

When the other three facets of the D.E.A.D. principle waiver, it is determination that will pull each of the others in line.

In the simplest of terms, determination is that spark inside of us that refuses to quit or give in when logic or any other measure says quit!

Consider the bulldog.  They are kind of a funny-looking dog.  It is my understanding that bulldogs because of their breeding cannot be born naturally and must be born via c-section.  Their heads are so large and their jaws so massive and powerful by design.  The purpose was to raise or breed a dog to fight bulls, hence the name bulldog!  A bulldog has an unbelievable amount of determination and tenacity.  When placed in the ring together, the chase is on!  Naturally, size and strength advantage by far belongs to the bull.  However, the bull will chase the dog and then the dog will turn things around and chase the bull.  This goes back and forth for some time until the dog literally wears out the bull.  The bull will be standing alone with his head low breathing heavily.  It is this moment that the dog seizes upon and latches those massive relentless jaws on the snout of the bull.  The bull will shake and shake to no avail.  He will toss the dog around and hit him up against the wall of the ring until finally the bull lays down and gives up.  The little sixty pound dog wins because of the amazing determination!

It is this determination we must learn and cultivate if it does not come naturally to us.  If it already does, consider yourself blessed!  If it is not one of your strong points, it might be time to work on stirring it up within yourself.  Many times we can win if we simply refuse to give up.  Outlasting our competition can place us in a position to bring about great success in our lives and businesses.  Being able to hang in the fight long enough gets us to a place where we grow  enough that we achieve greater things than we could have otherwise attained.  The lessons learned from our refusing to give in or quit teaches us so many unforeseen and valuable lessons that the value of determination cannot be overstated.  All four of the characteristics of the D.E.A.D. principle are vitally important.  But it is the element of determination that can carry us when all else fails.

Whatever your field of interest, I encourage you to go out and begin to apply this principle.  Whether in sales, politics, education, sports, ministry or whatever it is you do, get out and apply the D.E.A.D. principle and see how it breathes new life into all you do!

D.E.A.D. Principle (part 3)

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In parts 1 & 2, you learned how desire and enthusiasm fit into the D.E.A.D. principle.  Here in part 3, we will focus on attitude.

There have been volumes written on the topic of attitude and how it can make or break you.  In fact, I personally have written two books that address our attitudes and their role in shaping our current environment in which we live as well as our future which we will soon enough inhabit.  As a brief matter of shameless self-promotion, you can find those two books on my product page!  Enough said.

In addition to my books, I will point you to a free teaching I did on the matter which resides on YouTube.  To view this short video on “Attitude Lessons from Flight School” simply click this link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZsOJphP3fE  I will point out and warn you in advance that this was the first video I made on what was then my new iPad in an outdoor setting.  Everything worked out just fine, except the audio quality could have been much better.  Nonetheless, it is worth a few minutes of your time to learn a valuable lesson that I will teach here.  Feel free to give it a “like” and leave a comment.  By all means, help others and me by reposting at will!

Now that I have given you a full three sources of inspiration on the topic of attitude, I will give you a little something new for this post.  Our attitudes can serve us well, or entrap us in an unwanted prison of sorts.  For example, I grew up in New England and was surrounded by friends and family which shaped me into a bit of a sarcastic individual.  That northern sarcasm is great if you are trying to get a laugh, but not so good if it sneaks into your professional life.  We need to watch every word that proceeds from our mouth.  Not only do we want to choose language which properly communicates our message, but also, we ought to watch our delivery.

If we allow challenges we face in life to get us down, or don’t cope well when the unexpected happens we can send an unintended message.  That message can be that we are not serious professionals or that our concern is not in meeting the needs of our customers, but rather to meet our own needs.

Maintaining a positive attitude is paramount to success in any arena.  Can you imagine having a surgeon about to perform surgery on you who had a negative attitude?  Heaven no!  As a consumer, I want everyone I deal with on a regular basis to be a positive individual.  I’m talking about the person who takes my order at the drive through window, I’m talking about the clerk at the post office, I’m talking about the person who services our car.  Positive attitude in business is equal to professional and satisfying rapport that makes me want to continue to do business with that person or company.  I might overlook or excuse a poor attitude once because I understand everyone has an occasional bad day, but beyond that I am looking for a new place to do business.

Whether you are behind a desk, behind a counter, working the phones or speaking on stage before a room full of eager students, you must cultivate a winning, positive attitude.  If you expect to go to the next level and improve your position in life, this is a key area to give serious attention.  Don’t take your own word for it either!  Ask those closest to you who would know you best.  Find out what others really think of your presentation to others. l Encourage them to be completely honest.  Prepare yourself!  Hopefully you will be pleased or pleasantly surprised.  But, be open to the very real possibility that you have room for improvement.  If you have zero room for improvement you may need to give someone a call and sign up for a study of some sort as you would be quite the anomaly!

Desire leads to giving birth to our enthusiasm.  Our attitude is cultivated from these two principles and will take us a long way.  See you soon for the final look into the D.E.A.D. principle!

D.E.A.D. Principle (part 2)

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Welcome back for the second part of the D.E.A.D. principle.

Diving right in, the “E” stands for enthusiasm.  The second component, enthusiasm, builds nicely upon the first which was, desire.  Let’s face it, if you aren’t excited about your products or services, why should your customers be?  In fact, if you are just joining me in this series, you might want to stop right here and go read part 1.  The reason is that if you have read and understood part 1 with regards to desire, then enthusiasm should be a natural progression.

For the sake of example, I will continue sharing the scenario of a car salesperson.  You can adapt the particulars to whatever industry you are involved in.  Remember, it is the principle you are looking to learn.  Once you learn the principle, application will fall into place naturally.  So, if you are following your desire to participate in the lucrative world of automotive sales  you will want to consciously have a very enthusiastic mindset.

How will this look in practice?  As a sales professional you will want to eat cars, drink cars, sleep cars, breathe cars, etc.  You will need to completely immerse yourself in your product in order to gain the knowledge it takes to intelligently communicate their every benefit, feature, and have a command of ever bell and whistle.  You will want to get so excited about the cars you sell that it literally is infectious!  Of course, your enthusiasm will show in terms of excitement and love of the vehicles, but you will also be armed to address every question, comment and concern that comes your way.  Also, you will be so intimately familiar with what you sell that you will instinctively know what is the right car for your customer.

There are so many different ins and outs with this idea that I could go on for pages and pages!  I believe you likely get the idea though.

True success comes to those who diligently pursue it.  It doesn’t just happen.  Making certain that you are following your desire will lead you to a place of proper levels of enthusiasm.  Be a good student of what you are selling, promoting, building, or teaching.  Learning everything you can will be one of your biggest assets in the pursuit of success.  Be sure to be real.  Enthusiasm is a wonderful and contagious thing, but, forced or fake enthusiasm shines like a beacon telling your audience you are not genuine and, therefore, not trustworthy.  Don’t make the mistake of equating enthusiasm with over-the-top craziness!  You don’t want to come across as a clown.

Enthusiasm is best served with a smile, and what I like to call controlled excitement.  You don’t want to explode on people.  You do want your excitement to be leading your customer somewhere.  Think of it this way—if your customer is at an excitement level of a 4 on a scale of 1 to 10 you probably don’t want to come across as a ten!  Stay a couple steps ahead.  Lead them, don’t drag them.

Genuine enthusiasm will ultimately create a follow me scenario where people will gravitate in your direction.  Just make sure your enthusiasm is following your desire and you will be well on your way to following the D.E.A.D. principle.

D.E.A.D. Principle (part 1)

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I decided today to introduce you to the D.E.A.D. Principle.  This is an amazing principle that a close friend of mine shared with me a few years ago.  Cliff Maynard of Success Innovations in Charlotte, North Carolina works in the automotive industry and recruits and trains sales and management professionals.

This principle will be valuable to you whether or not you make your living in the sales arena, as the principle applies nicely to all walks of life and therefore, in my opinion, is perfect for everyone who wants to be more successful in whatever they do.

As I’m sure you guessed already this principle is an acronym made up of four separate but complimentary things you must have and focus upon if you are to be a success.  My plan is to break the D.E.A.D. Principle into a series of at least four blog posts.  I think this will serve you best in that it will essentially give you four progressive lessons from which you can learn and apply.

The first “D” is the most basic and, frankly, foundational of the four and it stands for “Desire.”  Rule or principle number one of the D.E.A.D. Principle is desire.  No matter what you do you must have a high level of desire associated with what you are doing if indeed you expect to achieve any amount of success.  If you are a car salesperson, then cars and everything to do with them need to be incredibly important and motivating to you.  They need to get and hold your interest.  You need to want to be in a place where you spend all day long every day learning about them, test driving them, talking about them and so on.  If you don’t have this level of desire, you probably will eventually fail.  Apply this to other fields and you will find the same to be true.  If you are in ministry, you had better not only love studying Scripture, but you need to love people.  You have to care for them, counsel them, teach them and be willing to stay up late and wake up early to minister to their needs.  This must be your overwhelming desire in order to be a successful shepherd.  What about if you have decided to go into the marketing field?  Then your desire must be to study and know your products or clients you are promoting.  You need to love to dig deep and learn about the demographics that would most likely want and need to use your clients’ products or services.  You will have to have a deep desire to work in a fast paced world and make lots of phone calls and send and receive a lot of correspondence and track and measure efficacy of your campaigns.  If not, you are likely going in the wrong direction!

You can easily see how regardless of the situation, the “desire” must be there.  Without this key element you are just fooling yourself.  It is not to say that you couldn’t fake it for a time.  Maybe you are in a place where something you truly desire is not available or even possible.  You may find yourself marking time and collecting a paycheck in order to survive.  My advice to you if you find yourself in this situation is to let the desire for that paycheck be all the motivation you need in order to keep food on the table and a roof over your head.  Simultaneous to this fake or drummed up desire, find the time to seek out, find, or create the position you are truly and naturally passionate about and actually desire.  What you naturally desire is key.  I’m talking about the desire you don’t have to work at or stir up, it is always there!

Are you where you truly desire to be?  If the answer is yes, fantastic!  Let this lesson serve as a reinforcement to what you are hopefully already experiencing.  If the answer is no, then it is likely time to make a plan and set some goals and hold yourself accountable and go after your true hearts desire.In a couple days we will take a look at the “E” of the D.E.A.D. Principle.  Come back and check out part 2

Failure is Not the Problem You Think it is!

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I believe it was Thomas Edison who famously said that he had not failed, he had merely discovered ten thousand ways that don’t work. Is that not a beautiful take on perspective and determination?

There are many more famous examples of people who have literally failed their way to success! It doesn’t seem at first glance that the two are compatible, but indeed they are a close kin. Look at it this way, if all we do is dream about what it would be like to do something big, but never take a step towards the dream we are absolutely guaranteed to fail and never realize the dream. Truth be told, if we take a chance and step out in faith towards our dreams there is no promise of attaining the goal or even being any closer to the goal after we try. So why try at all if this is the way it is? There is something so amazing and surprisingly satisfying in our best attempts that makes the effort worth the while.

Speaking for myself, I know that there are enormous heaps of failure in between each success I have experienced along the way. You can say that when measuring the failures compared to the successes that overall I’m a failure right? If we are simply counting the numbers of failures versus successes, then I suppose, but who does that? The runner who competes and fails to place in race after race could be deemed a failure. However, the training and preparation that goes into each race strengthens the runner and puts them in a place where even though they may have lost this race, they are poised to improve the next them they try. Plus, lessons learned through the course of failure refine their approach next time. For some, simply being able to complete a race is reward enough regardless of winning or losing! But just imagine the exhilaration of the day that runner crosses the finish line first! Do you think at that moment they are looking back over their years of failure and accepting that because they failed more than they won that they are in fact a loser somehow? NO! Absolutely not! In that moment the first success is realized, all the failure is now nothing more than mere preparation that lead to this now sweet moment of supreme accomplishment.

I dare say that this scenario applies to me and you no matter what our ‘race’ of choice. It doesn’t matter how many times I got rejected trying to get a job in broadcasting. When I finally landed my first job, I wasn’t crying about all the missed opportunities, but instead, was celebrating the fact I had one now! When I found my beautiful wife and mother of my two amazing children I didn’t look back at all the failed relationships and label myself a social failure. No! I rejoiced in the fact that I now basked in the glorious success of finding the one for me! As an author, I don’t look at all the failed attempts to write a book and think of me as a failed author. No! I look at my book, “Power In Perseverance” and the lives that have been changed and the blessings that have come through the open door of radio & TV interviews because of it, and I see a resounding success!

We have to choose what we focus on. How do you like that? Another visual pun from a blind man! I can choose to focus on failure, but then my negative outlook will feed upon itself and become a self fulfilling prophecy of sorts and I will continue to live in failure. Or, I can choose to focus on my accomplishments and the joy they have added to my life and allow myself to be defined by them instead of the failed attempts.

If this blind, cancer survivor, heart patient can overcome the obstacles in my life, then why can’t you? What is your excuse? What is holding you back? If it is your attitude and perspective that’s easy to change, just make the decision. If it is a disability or other life challenge, that’s ok, you can still overcome it and get to where you want to go. You just need to find someone like you who has done it before. Solomon said there is nothing new under the sun. I believe that! If someone, anyone like you or me has done something before then so can we!

For more information, or if I can be of any further assistance to you, please do not hesitate to reach out. My email is throttleup@jeffgrillomedia.com

Below are some suggested links to help you grab hold of other ‘Throttle Up!’ outlets that will encourage, empower and inspire you to reach beyond your current circumstances and become all you were created to be!

Podcast: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/jeff-grillos-podcast/id984981881?mt=2&i=339792930
YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YamzUDTAj1w

Please SHARE this post! I want as many people as possible to be helped and learn from my experience! Thank you!

Focus is Critical

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Our goals and desires in life, if meaningful enough to us, will drive us to do whatever it takes to succeed.  There are times that this drive and raw excitement can for many of us turn into a crazy and at times seemingly out of control ride.  We spin in all directions, firing on all cylinders and appear to be amazingly busy.  When pursuing our goals, however, busy is not necessarily good all the time.  Here is what I mean.  Don’t get me wrong, we need to be busy that is how things get done, we just don’t need to be so busy that we have our hand in so many things nothing really gets accomplished in the end.

Let’s look at the differences in focus.  I like to liken it to the shooting range.  Believe it or not, I enjoy the shooting sport.  Hard to believe, I know, but even with severely limited sight I can still hit certain color and size targets from fairly close ranges, usually 10 to 20 feet or so.  If I had a silhouette target set about 20 feet in front of me and decided todo some target practice there are two types of guns I might be inclined to try out.  One may be a handgun of some sort with a laser pointer on it.  I don’t actually own one, but for illustration of making this point I will ‘pretend!”  I think most people using a laser-sighted gun can hit the target nearly every time if their pull is firm and steady.  With laser focus you can stay on target and reach the goal, in this case scoring a bullseye!  Then, perhaps we might think about trying the shotgun on the next target.  The shotgun will also enable you to hit the target, but in a much different way.  The shotgun sends out a spray of pellets that become more and more spread out the longer the distance they travel.    With the handgun and laser I can put several rounds within a tight grouping in and around the actual bullseye center of the target.  With the shotgun, I may very well hit the target, but there is no guarantee how many of those pellets will get anywhere near the bullseye.  Out of say 9 pellets that go down range maybe only four of them hit the target.  Out of those four pellets one hit the copyright information way at the bottom of the target, off the silhouette.  A second pellet hit high and left of center.  The third pellet hit the edge of the paper where it was taped to the wood, but not actually on the target itself.  Maybe the forth hit several inches right of center.  So while the shotgun approach in general helps you to have a tactical advantage in real life, on a paper target, it is actually not advantageous at all!  Aside from the thrill of feeling the powerful kick of the shotgun, there is little value in target shooting.

This relates to our personal lives in the following ways to varying degrees depending upon your specific situation.  Firstly, if we focus our energies in a single endeavor we are more likely to hit what we are most focused upon.  If we have too many things we are attempting to achieve at one time the likelihood of any real success at any o them is greatly reduced.  Better to have singular purpose and one by one pick off your goals.

In my life, this seems to be the case.  When I am focused on something and I can give it my full attention, success is close at hand.  If I find myself juggling too many things at once, frustration is usually by my side.